yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
my liver is dry heaving
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
