We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
