you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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