When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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