if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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