P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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