This is not my ceiling
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
