google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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