I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
