hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
