yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
