R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
