I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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