We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
