i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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