why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
