Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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