he wants to bone in the snuggie
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
