I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was confusing and full of hummus
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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