the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
