My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
