Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
