So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
