I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize