Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
