Define "chronic" masturbator.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
