I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
