New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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