I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
