Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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