she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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