And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
