She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
