While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
