I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
