the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
