ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and she was petting her beer can
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
