its not stalking. its research.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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