I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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