He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
