We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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