An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
