I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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