Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
