i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
