you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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