Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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