singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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