wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
