it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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