I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
