So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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