what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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