fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
