i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
