doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
