if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
