I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
