so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
