ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize